I got saved at an early age and like most kids I didn’t really understand what salvation was nor what it actually entailed. Growing up in church put me under a lot of pressure. I sang in the choir and was member of the Usher Board. My mother would always say to me, “you’re not just going to come to church and sit on the pew and take up space; you’re going to do something.”
Due to my lack of understanding, I got off the straight and narrow path and was soon led astray. My absentee father who was an alcoholic and a heroin addict and very abusive to my mother had been incarcerated early on leaving me feeling hurt, abandoned, rejected, and unloved. These negative feelings would slowly but surely contribute to my development of low self-esteem. I had no self-worth and felt an unfillable void in my life and as a result of depression and feelings of loneliness I became promiscuous. I looked to men in an effort to fill the emptiness I was feeling inside and became an overachiever, very competitive, and a people pleaser.
I got baptized in 2004 and filled with the Holy Spirit and yet again, due to my lack of understanding I was frightened by this and would soon be on the run in the marathon of life running from the God that I was unknowingly in pursuit of. While on the run, God got my attention and my life was changed forever. I experienced a profound life changing encounter with God in 2013. While my mother was on her death bed, literally in the hospital on life support, God met me right where I was and in my weakest most vulnerable hour I heard God speak to me for the first time. That encounter with the Lord caused me to repent, turn from my wicked ways, turn my back on sin, and turn my heart towards God. From that day forward, I decided I was going to follow Christ and serve God. “I call on you O God for you will answer me turn your ear to me and hear my prayer” (Psalm 17:6).
God gave me some instructions that day; I obeyed and life as I knew it would never be the same. I experienced God in a way like never before. I was amazed that God even cared about me; that He would take the time not only to listen to me but to actually respond. That day, I found out first hand that God really did love me, that He cared for me, and that I mattered to Him. All those feelings of hurt, rejection, and abandonment would wither away and die. The weeds that were choking my garden would soon be plucked up. “For I know the plans I have for you, thus says the Lord” (Jeremiah 29:11 KJV). I accepted my call to ministry as a servant of the Lord Jesus Christ. My desire to help others, that were wounded and tossed to and fro by the storms of life, became my burden in life.
Reflecting over my life and the course of events that have led up to this point I have discovered that I have a longing, a hunger, and a thirst that only God can quench. God met my needs: 1. the need for a personal experience with the Him, 2. the need for an abundant spiritual life, 3. the longing for deeper and fuller teaching in my own heart. I have found it to be true that “the Almighty does satisfy the longing soul and He does fill it with goodness.”
 V. Raymond Edman, They Found the Secret (Grand Rapids: Zondervan, 1984), 89.
I enjoy movies with a meaning and a message, sitting in the park overlooking the water, and eating my favorite ice cream Heavenly Hash.
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